Communication is a spectrum. One end is ineffective communication, the other is effective communication. Ineffective communication is closer to "taking an opinion." I said it, I felt good, that's it. Did you hear me? It doesn't matter. What you think? It's none of my business. Anyway, I spoke, I fulfilled my responsibility. The essence of this kind of communication is selfish. It serves the speaker, not the listener. Effective communication is different. It's not just about getting you to hear. It's about getting you to understand, even changing your mind. It's about being willing to sit down and listen to your perspective. It's about being willing to spend time openly discussing your thoughts. The essence of this kind of communication is generosity. Because you're willing to pay attention and try to understand the other person's world. But true communication requires courage. Because you need to open a space for the other person's thoughts to enter. That means you might be changed. Most people don't want to be changed, so they choose to express their opinions. Those who just want to release their emotions will stop at expressing their opinions. Because expressing their opinions makes them feel good; whether the problem is solved or not doesn't matter. They've vented, they've vented, mission accomplished. Marital arguments are the best example. Have you ever seen arguments escalate and eventually reach a complete lack of consensus? Close observation reveals that both people are doing the same thing. "You always do this!" "I don't! You're the same way!" "I'm doing this for your own good, you know that!" "You don't understand what I'm talking about at all!" Both sides are firing away, waiting for the other to shut up first. No one is listening, no one wants to understand what the other is angry about. Everyone is rushing to express their opinion, rushing to prove they're right. The result is two hours of arguing, and the problem remains unchanged. Emotions have been released, but the relationship has been damaged. This kind of argument is essentially two people shouting at thin air. This is why most conversations in the world go unanswered. Both are firing, but no one is receiving. A truly insightful person, someone who genuinely wants to solve the problem, will ask one more question: Is what I'm saying even useful? If it's ineffective, how can I make it effective? This level of thinking is the dividing line between effective and ineffective communication.