🚨 How to Make $100 Million in Crypto 🚨
Step 1. Find a Story
Ignore fundamentals. Scan the X to find the most influential people. If they're shouting "game changer," follow them. No research required.
Step 2. Pack a Starter Kit
Exchange all your savings into the hottest meme coin. Even better if the mascot is a dog, a frog, or a shady politician. Tell your family you're "early."
Step 3. Quick Validation
Check the chart every 7 seconds. If it's going up, you're a genius. If it's going down, double down because "that's how whales shake you out."
Step 4. Close and Deliver
At a +50% gain, tweet about financial freedom. Refuse to sell. All the way down -80%, post a coping meme.
Step 5: Accelerate to $10 Million
Repeat steps 1-4 until your hairline recedes, your sleep schedule is disrupted, and your desire for hope diminishes. Eventually, you win the bet and tell everyone that this is your "strategy."
Disclaimer: This article is not financial advice.